something you should all know

she is the most successful female singer ever (shifting over 350 million records) and the guardian just gave her a four star review.

a question...

what did the monkey say to the snake?

shortcuts

Area Man Knows All The Shortcut Keys

NEW BRITAIN, CT-Catalog copywriter Roger Turlock knows all the keyboard combinations that execute a computer's common commands, the Comfort Uniforms employee said yet again Tuesday.

a joke from my mum

why are scientist's working on musical breast implants?

because so many women are complaining that men are staring at their boobs and not listening to them.

fallam hoe

definitely worth a peep.

a heady mix of beauty and brains...

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Ms South Carolina (& contestant in Miss Teen USA pageant) when asked why so many Americans can't find their country on a map:

'I personally believe US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and I believe our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as. And I believe they should, our education over here in the US should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future. For our children.'

appropriate horrorscope

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Your longtime wish for a better poker face will finally be granted this week; unfortunately, you'll lack the mental capacity required to play poker after the stroke.

yves klein - leap into the void

so i'm back

well i did indeed pull some faces at


now back in the world of running water and electricity... although it turns out my flat has no ceiling following a storm last week... so i'm on the look out for beds to crash on (preferably empty ones) for the next few weeks in the burgh if anyone has one to offer...

i'm off...

...to pull faces at people i'm too scared to put photos of on my blog...

four hours of power per day

guess i won't be straightening my hair then.

seriously

i really don't care.

pants

i'm going to zimbabwe innit. and i'm on the look out for new kiddies underwear to take with me for the poor little orphans. let me know if you wanna contribute any (or any money towards some.) h & m have got great ones at the moment, with like dinosaurs and spiderman on them and stuff.

go on, be wild.

ta.

stuff on my cat

check out www.stuffonmycat.com ... it's people's cats ... with stuff on.

it has been a good while

jesus was dounble-jointed

'they say if you look closely at paintings of jesus on the cross from the middle ages, you can see his arms are bent slightly out. they've done studies, and it turns out that it's because he was actually dounble-jointed.
under normal circumstances, crucifixion killed fairly quickly. after an hour or so, you pretty much suffocated or your heart gave out. they've done studies on this as well.
jesus had to stay alive a bit longer because he had his destiny to fulfil, of course. he had to live until he'd converted the two thieves crucified on either side of him and until the sky turned red on good friday. but he also had to be all human at the time too, because that was kind of the whole point. what god did was make him double-jointed, so he was a bit more flexible and could hang there a bit longer, hold himself up, suffer a bit more and live long enough to fulfil his sacrifice. if you look closely at the paintings that hang in rome, you can see that his elbows bend against the slightly more than is normal. it's true, just look. they say it's because of a scripture from song of solomon about how "his joints are like jewels".
later paintings don't show this, but they say it's because they were painted further away from the actual event.'

jesus' elbows and other christian urban myths, patrick ness.

opening the laminated book of dreams/nightmares...

what has two legs and bleeds?
half a dog.

the last good joke i heard.

without such things the world would be a depressingly macabre place.

wise words

'the best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.'
- w. c. fields.

family promotion...

'Like Photek before him, Robert Logan has discovered his dark side at a tender age and has found an electronic, yet very deep and curiously moving means of expression. The touchstones are there - Kraftwerk (natch), The Boards of Canada, Eno, Vibert, Photek, but they are really just signposts along the way, showing possible directions that give you a sense of knowing where you are and where you are going...but a journey through Logan's mind is clearly never going to be that straightforward.

Brooding, swirling, swathes of sound come at you from all directions, underpinned by some seriously deep base and twisting beats. But it never feels out of control or flabby. There is a rigorous standard to the programming and editing that exerts an incredible sense of control yet also allows real feelings to germinate and blossom in the listener - ranging from the paranoia of ''Lost Highway'' to the positively scary ''Budapest''. This is the link between the completely urban, dancefloor focused scenes of grime, ragga, dubstep and the industrial/suburban landscape of teenage bedrooms, twitching curtained cul-de-sacs and the discovery of the inner life.


The ability to create a dark, brooding ambience is nothing new, but the ability to take this and grow an organic world around it whilst pushing you almost...but not quite...onto the dancefloor marks out Robert Logan as something of a prodigy. Already drafted in to work on textures and beats for the next Grace Jones album, Robert Logan is a man that is already showing a maturity and a musical/textural understanding that many simply never find.'

Reviewer: Guy Hayden, BBC

myspace.com/robertlogan

heavenly harmonies. funky as hell.

this friday 9th another mama popcorn night of delight.
counting house, west nicolson street.
you know the score if you've seen us before - expect the unexpected and tighten your drawstrings for a pant-swinging extravaganza of big-mama proportions.

tickets £5 to book, contact me to book.
doors 8.30pm, band on stage 9pm.

be there or go spare.

horoscopes

Your Birthday Today:
A short stint as a human cannonball will eventually lead you to a much longer stint as a human corpse.

Aquarius:
Be prepared to shop till you drop when searching for an affordable supplier of heart medication this week.