Friday, April 13, 2007

it has been a good while

jesus was dounble-jointed

'they say if you look closely at paintings of jesus on the cross from the middle ages, you can see his arms are bent slightly out. they've done studies, and it turns out that it's because he was actually dounble-jointed.
under normal circumstances, crucifixion killed fairly quickly. after an hour or so, you pretty much suffocated or your heart gave out. they've done studies on this as well.
jesus had to stay alive a bit longer because he had his destiny to fulfil, of course. he had to live until he'd converted the two thieves crucified on either side of him and until the sky turned red on good friday. but he also had to be all human at the time too, because that was kind of the whole point. what god did was make him double-jointed, so he was a bit more flexible and could hang there a bit longer, hold himself up, suffer a bit more and live long enough to fulfil his sacrifice. if you look closely at the paintings that hang in rome, you can see that his elbows bend against the slightly more than is normal. it's true, just look. they say it's because of a scripture from song of solomon about how "his joints are like jewels".
later paintings don't show this, but they say it's because they were painted further away from the actual event.'

jesus' elbows and other christian urban myths, patrick ness.

1 Comments:

At 4:17 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

His joints were like jewels, sounds to me like he could skin up sweet fat white ones for him and his disciples. I'm sure I saw a paintin of Jesus and he was a rasta, with natty dreads, don't remember if he was hypermobile in it thou... Maybe one of his unspoken about miracles profesyed by solomon was one of turning oragano into the good shit!!!

 

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